Compliments always come from strangers or the person who doesn't really matter in your life, but they make you feel so special for that day you are walking on cloud nine. The same holds true for negativity. These incidents happened to me a few weeks ago now and they still bother me...I know I shouldn't let them, but it does and although I'm upfront and very confrontational I will not address this because honestly the person just doesn't get it what its about for me.
Here goes......I told someone who will remain nameless that I was going for a retightening, actually I said I was going to get my hair done because the person in particular doesn't fully understand. So after I said that they ask "are they going to clip your ends" I respond, "no, why". They say, and I double quote "because they look raggedy". RAGGEDY!! Hmm, do you have any idea what you look like with permed thinning hair ... .are you kidding me! OK so needless to say this was not the first time that they said something to me that got under my skin so this comment just boiled my blood. A few days prior to this incident they pointed out someones hair to me and I said oh it was a wig but it did look nice. They comment, I'm surprised you haven't bought one for a "CHANGE". Hmm, a change, they just don't get it, not that I'm on the Black Panther Revolt but the fact of the matter is my hair is natural and I love it the way it is every single day. I don't want a change, a change to me is pulling it up instead of to the side, curl and pin instead of let it hang free. It's mine all mine and I don't have to worry about taking it off daily or how I need to sleep for a CHANGE...
That felt good...so what comment has set you off?
6 comments:
I think its more of a case of who would come off worse!! Raggedy? ...for a change? I dont know anyone who has the gall enough to run their mouth like that! Just rude! regardless of the style choice, whatever happened to 'nothing good to say, say nothing at all?
Don't worry ENVY is on the way ... give it time ! :)
Just had one today!! Mind you I am in dire need of a retight, which I will be getting on Friday. But the question was simply "What's going on with your hair?" It was the tone of it that made it seem negative to me. I simply replied: "It's locking" but I truly felt she wanted to say why are you doing this to your hair? She was not a woman of color and has never seen me with anything else but my natural hair. I asked myself is she just wondering why I don't wear my hair like the other black women that we work with. I didn't even check for clarification. Just no energy for it today. But maybe I am being too sensitive.
People can be so ignorant sometimes but just let it slide bc Nai is correct soon she will be coveting your hair. Tis a shame that some people just can't keep their mouths closed.
I haven't had negative comments yet but I'm sure they will come. I have an affirmation to help me deal with those comments. It comes from a song by Me'shelle NdegeOcello "Our beauty cannot be measured by the standards of a colonized mind".
My comment: "Hasn't the novelty worn off yet? (ie Aren't you tired of this lock thing?" and "Why did you do that to your hair - it was nice hair"
I like what you said at the end: it's all mine and I like it.
Some people just don't get it.
@Nai - yes a raggedy perm vs some raggedy locks ... thats a good question though!
@Natural High - we all have our sensitive days.
@The Woman inside - you're right when its flowing and swinging all eyes on me :-)
@Lush Locs - I love that affirmation.
@Bajan Lily - yeah most think its a phase.
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